The moon’s presence

Isn’t it funny how easily your mood can shift sometimes.  I think I’ve gone from content and warm, to anxious and upset, to rushed and lonely, to feeling completely peaceful in God’s presence. It has all happened in the span of a few hours and I felt it all vividly . We can be very complex, yet the simplest things can set our soul at peace. Now if it were easier to understand how to bring those simple mood altering things into our life, then life would be simple. 

But the moon can just be the moon until you innocently look up and see the most perfect full moon framed by clouds as if it was drawn and taped to the window. It’s hard to believe it is even there, it mesmerizes you.  You know that a photo would never do it justice, so you let your eyes do it all the justice they can for as long as they can.  It ducks between windows as the bus turns and you realize that you almost feel a bit of panic.  You need to see it again. But only once you lean excessively in order to and get a glimpse do you realize how ridiculous it is that you needed to do that. The moon will always be there even if you can’t see it.  Even if you can’t see its beauty. 

Beautiful Moment

“Do you know what love is?  Have you ever missed someone so much that even when it’s only been a few days you just need to see them,  talk to them,  hug them.  You will take as much as you can possibly get.  And you can’t wait either.  Even waiting for them to have a glass of water is too long,  you end up hugging them while they drink it. Being in their arms is like a drug.  Going a few days without it and you start to get withdrawal.  Man the number of things I’ve blown off just to spend time with him is ridiculous. Because time with him is precious,  it’s more important than anything.  No matter how much I have.  Heck I’ve blown off hanging out with friends just to be able to phone him. When we are long distance we talk nightly and that is usually the highlight of my day.  Heck most of the highlights of my life are anything to do with him.  I want to tell him everything.  Everything that has happened.  The good the bad,  the funny,  the worrisome.  Just everything.  And I want to hear all of that stuff from him too.  As much as I want to tell him all my stuff I just want to know what’s he’s thinking.  Doesn’t matter that I practically know him better than myself,  he still amazes me.”

I was heading home for weekend which I haven’t been able to do all semester other than the fall break. Which is really very strange for me as I used to go home practically every other week in first year. But that is just to give you some context, not what I want to focus on. While I was taking the bus home I realized that I haven’t stopped in a while. I haven’t really given myself any kind of good breaks from school. I always have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me all the things I have to do. But for once it turned off. Let’s be honest, how productive can you really be on a bus. So for that hour and a half drive I just relaxed. I watched the sunset, I read my book, I thought. Some of that thinking led to what is written above. I felt like I just had to express how much love I was feeling somehow.

There was just something beautiful about that moment. A moment where you are heading home to a family who you can’t wait to see and who you know feel the same way as you. And you can tell from your mom telling you that “you visiting is the best birthday gift”. But at the same you are leaving behind the best boyfriend in the world, I really hate that word, boyfriend. It doesn’t even come close to expressing who he is to me. He is already texting me that he’s going to miss me this weekend and that it was so nice seeing me today. Hell I could only see him for an hour. But man how nice an hour can be when you are with the person you love. In that moment I realized yet again that I’m so lucky to have all this love. That beautiful thought was framed by the stunning sunset surrounding me through the large bus windows and reflecting on the lake and skyscrapers that we drove past. That moment was perfect.