Sooo I’ve been seeing monarch butterflies everywhere lately. Its been about 3 months and no joke I’ve seen at least 10 butterflies in my normally butterflyless life. I live in a city and work on a construction site. There should be very minimal butterfliesin my life. Usually I see a few a year. Yet a few weeks ago I literally saw 3 butterflies just casual flying together over our construction site right in downtown Toronto! Like 5 minites from union station, the downtown downtown core. Where would they even come from? There is barely any grass, let alone plants.
It all started when I was on my yearly camping trip with my boyfriend. We went a little farther in the bush than usual and we were both kinda wondering if it was worth the long trek. We had heard there were usually moose in the area but even afyer a really long frustrating portagewe saw none. So when we saw a few butterflies I felt comforted that at least there was something beautiful to see. Like maybe they were a sign of good luck. I dont really believe in signs but it just felt like our luck was turning around. Then on our way back, at the last possible spot in the area before the portage we saw moose. A mom and its baby. They were beautiful and shockingly not very shy either.
The trip was still not as fulfilling as usual though. Honestly lately I’ve been having a lot of doubts in life. There have been a lot of decisions to make about where to work and what car to buy and where to live. Its hard to know if you are making all the right decisions. As I write that sentance I realise that I’m dumb for strssinng so much becuase there is no one rogh hit decision for anything. Butlately it feels like there should be an that mmaybe I’m not choosing it. Maybe I missed my opportunity along the way. When I start feeling like this is right about when I’ll see another butterfly.
I know, it’s ridiculous. It’s definitely just coincidence. But I don’t know,it deinitely does not feel like coincidence. It feels like some higher power is cheering me along right when I need it and sending a butterfly to exactly where I should be at that moment in life. Every time I keep meeting them it feels like it more and more. I know that maybe that’s just what I need right now. Maybe I just wat to feel special and confident and this is a mind game with myself. Who knows.
This week I saw two. One on wednesda when I was having a horrible day. My grandma has been vey sick lately and the news was soundng worse. Plus work has been crazy with high upper management breathing down our throats. I was stressed and tired and about ready to give up over the stupidest thing of not having a ride. Uber exists, I was just beng lazy and looking for an excuse. I forced myself to go to head office because I had to get an employment letter before my boyfriend and I tour paces to rent. On my way from the subway station, walking the half a block to the office, I noticed some beautiful wildflowers. And of course, on them was a beautiful butterfly. As I walked by it lifted of the flowers and flew right by me.
Today we finally got through the rush a work and we are all burnt out. I feel relieved but also exhausted. This thankgiving isn’t much to look forward to. My grandpa on my dad’s side recently passed away and this will be our first thanksgiving without him and my grandma is in the hospital afyer having a stroke. I went to the washroom trailers and walk out to see a butterfly fly right over my head.
Its crazy, I know. But the way my heart feels so comforted every time I see another one, my heart definitely does not know that signs don’t exist.