He can always tell when I’m crying. Sometimes it’s easier when we are cuddled up on the couch and I soak his shirt. When we are on the phone he knows too. He knows when I am close to crying by just the sound of my voice, I didn’t even know my voice changed.
Usually he gives a little chuckle and says “You’re crying aren’t you?” That’s for the less serious stuff, like sad movies or when I don’t even know why I’m sad. But when I don’t even know why I’m sad is usually the more serious stuff for me. That’s then the sadness drags on for weeks because I don’t even know how to fix it when nothing’s wrong.
Sometimes he doesn’t notice, like last night. When Tracy, or “the mom” on How I Met Your Mother’s boyfriend died at only 21 he thought I was just tired. But something like that hits close to home.
I know I get my worrying from my mother and as much as I try it’s still there. Nights like tonight when he hasn’t answered his phone in hours when he normally takes minutes always make me think the worst for a second. I know he’s just busy with his business but I still have to stop myself from wondering if he was in a car accident how long would it take for someone to let me know.