So I’ve been in a but of a funk the past few weeks. If you’re wondering what I mean, pretty much I’ve been feeling off, sad, just the kind of feeling where you have to fight to feel happy. Even when you feel like you finally fought off the sadness it just seems to sneak back at night as if you never fought it off in the first place.
What tends to happen when I get in this mood, because it happens every once in a while, is that I become a tad clingy with my boyfriend because he is great asst cheering me up. Sometimes that’s all I need. But I guess not this time.
I’m starting to realize that most of the time when I feel like this it’s because I feel like I’m getting nowhere, like I’m just spinning my wheels. I’m not accomplishing anything and nothing good is coming out of me at this point in my life. What good am I if I’m not masking the world a little better. Which is a lot of pressure… and likely the reason this feeling is recurring. Because it’s not my responsibility to be constantly accomplishing things.
On top of that, if I choose to accomplish things with my life then I can’t complain when I sit around like a lazy lump that I haven’t accomplished enough. If I want to accomplish things I need to actually get out there and do shit. And when I do make the world a little bit better I need to acknowledge that.
I will never be useless because I will always be capable of making the world better.