Do you ever feel like you would do anything from going crazy?
No? You don’t get this compete feeling of despair that catches you of gaurd and makes you hideaway and cry. I didn’t think so. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn’t just me, that everyone feels sad.
But everyone doesn’t feel like they have to go home quick and hold in the tears till they get there. Like they better put on their favorite song and hope it helps. Like they better write about it. Like they better read something to distract themself, pull themself out of this world becuase they know they can’t handle it anymore. Like they beter watch something ridiculously sad so at least your sad doesn’t look that bad. Because when you can feel yourself falling into a breakdown you’ll do anything to drag yourself back out of the pit that you can feel you’re already slipping into.
“Why are you sad?”, you ask. I don’t know. I wish I could tell you. I almost wish I had a valid reason, but then I don’t because it would have to be really bad to feel like this. Maybe it’s withdrawal from the trip. Maybe it’s the absolute shit grade I got. Maybe its because I’m on my period. Maybe it’s because the person who usually notices and pull me out of it didn’t and thinks its just my period. Maybe it’s that I am not happy with life. I think I would rather be unhappy with my life than be depressed.
But then, what’s the difference really?