I’m sure you’ve heard this a billion times just like I have. Been thinking about it a lot lately and every time I do I realize that some of the people I surround myself are not at all the kinds of people who push me or encourage me or are going to help me succeed. The people I study with are kind people but they are a bit of slackers. If I’m honest then I’m definitely a slacker too. And it’s nice spending time with people who get you. But the last few days I’ve been trying to work harder, be less of a slacker. And the reaction I get from them is so frustrating. I was saying how I am happy that I am ahead in school for once and my friend laughed and said how I am only ahead of her and my other friends who are slackers and pretty much implied that it won’t last. Normally I would laugh right along with her because it is usually true but I am really trying to change this time and so it just felt like shit.
This was the first time it really hit me that I need to listen to that stupid saying after all. The other times I read it I didn’t want to blame my problems on my friends so I just brushed it off saying that it was my problem if I was slacking and not theirs. But I’m realizing I need to find friends that see the best in me and fight to see it more. That is the kinds of friends I want. That is the family and boyfriend I’ve got, which I don’t take lightly, I’m honestly so lucky. I was kinda telling myself that that was enough. Y’know? having that kind of support from family and my boyfriend was enough even though my friends weren’t the best. But I shouldn’t cut myself short and not even try. Why not try and find friends who come a little closer to what I see in my boyfriend and family.
The thing is, I don’t want to ditch my friends. They are good kind people. My problem is that they don’t push me to be better but is that really enough to ditch them for. Plus how do you even go about finding friends who do push you to be better. I have trouble making new friends on a good day, I just don’t even like meeting new people because I get so awkward and flustered. So how do I even go about changing this?