Of all the thousands of people I’ve met in my life there are only 8 I can think of who I can talk for hours with and have the best conversations. Friends I can spend long periods of time with because I don’t need a break from them to get my own space. Friends that want to know all about what is going on in my life and vice versa. Friends who I can go months without talking to or seeing but pick back up where we left off effortlessly. Friends who would be there in a crisis and who I would drop anything for if they were in one. Friends who I can trust, let my guard down around and completely be myself.
But you know what happened when I started thinking about this, I realized how many great friends I actually do have. As I wrote that first paragraph the number of “great friends” kept growing. I first thought of my housemate, boyfriend, and parents. They are my core, they are part of most of my best memories and I am so grateful to have them in my life. But as I kept thinking I started remembering more and more friends. They would pop into my mind in bursts of memories of having those all consuming conversations where you practically forget where you are. The number jumped from 4, to 5, to 7, to 8.
And that’s not even including my good friends who were amazing parts of my life but who I have grown apart from. People who were once one of my “great friends” but who have become so different from me as we grew in seemingly opposite directions that now I can’t relate to them anymore. It’s sad when that happens but I have learned to accept that some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. They were just there to brighten one section of my life, not all of it.
The really sad part is not the great friends who I have grown apart from, but the ones who I have let drift away. Now that is an actual tragedy because they are still people who I can talk with for hours and yet somehow I haven’t talked to or seen them in forever. I was so upset with myself when I realized this that I immediately got in touch with each and every one of them. I even set dates to see each of them for when I know I will next be near them. It felt absolutely amazing, and I am so excited for each of those dates I set. It is absolutely ridiculous that I hadn’t done this sooner.
And you know why I hadn’t? now this is the kicker. I hadn’t kept in touch with these people because I was too busy trying to keep up with all these acquaintances and new friends who I know I don’t have as good of a connection with but who are around and are convenient. I don’t know about you but I would rather be someone with 8 great friends than someone with a thousand friends of convenience.
You might be thinking I’m stupid for not giving those friends of convenience more of a chance. Might be thinking that I’m missing out because some of those friends of convenience might become great friends. But the thing is, when you meet great friends you know. I’m not saying you know when you first meet them, and I’m not saying that I’m going to stop making friends of convenience. What I am trying to say is that I’m going to stop putting so much of my effort into running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find new friends who could become great friends, and put more of my effort into the great ones I already have. Because when I look back in my life I never put excessive effort into becoming friends those 8 people, it just happened. It’s like God just plopped them in my life.So from now on you’ll see me with those 8 great people I’m lucky enough to know until God plops any new ones into my life while I’m not looking.